'Fado' lost and found!!

As I traveled through Spain and Portugal I came across a beautiful genre of music called 'Fado'. Traced back to the 1870's its a mostly tragic. Through this poem I have tried to show loss with a hint of hope always being the element to reconcile Lovers!! i hope you enjoy this!!

---------

Its like the breeze I can feel it but I can’t see it,
The heart thumping, the throat gulping the breath heavy and slow,

Standing on the top of a cliff the clouds showcasing the chapters that passed,

The green soothing the dry salty skin near my eyes,

The butterflies twittering like it was when we kissed...

The rocks strong and stuck like regrets,
The rainbow light, far and pretty like our lost love,
The sound of fresh gushing water waiting to take us along into a new view,
The delta pointing in two different directions..

I close my eyes to capture this picture for life ..
But once I open them its a different sight,

Time is also a traveler,
Seeking the new and untouched zones and never turning back

Its never purely silent..Air also has a tune
Its never really perfect ..even the flower looses its petals

Its never really forever ...After day there's a new 'Knight'!!

Its never really dead..Volcanoes have a chance of erupting again

Its never really impossible...A coma patient gets motion someday

Its never really lost….love is a treasure box Lost by one, found by another

Dyin to be in the Rat Race and then just dying...

Its gonna be very soon that you would see a mind blasting on your screen at the end of this article. That mind id mine. surrounded by design ,people i like, i hate and the gurus of design and the dawning clouds of sleep. i miss my poems at such times that i wrote in the knive age of 16 . wow i was living to be here in a dsign college. suddenly things arent that fun anymore. With politics , cheating, selling,competition. I am reminded of Roald dahl's My dads better than your Dad.. only thing its a little different today.its my works more originally copied than yours..Here copying remains silent...The rat race for reaching the top and gulping down the cheese.. but the only thing i knew about rats was what Ratatouille said, any one can cook. anyone can design but only a few can be good at it. Then why the freaking hell are we just gobbling the ideas or maybe chewing it and spit it out after we are done.or is it are great inspirators doing so..Where is the race going. Are we really winning...tastefully???MY minds already bleeding due to contradiction in thought and my incapability to control it the way its required. either i think and keep thinking or am thinking what and why am not thinking.. Cant it just be blank..for a few days and then the freshness can jump in.. Theres so much crap in the world and its all due to dependency. I heard about Auroville the other day and i swear i wanna run there. and for reality check what i am doing is posting my god for saken work on websites that have info@xyz.com for any quieries or placement and they reply regularly once in 2 yrs i guess. Why is there so much secrecy as my frend rightly said its all in the box .. Its harrowing and self . Give me an internship guys i wan to learn if not just earn..Yuck that was disgustingly rhyming. we'll a second signal that the minds going to blast.. in 5, 4, 3,2,1.byee guys

am back

hmm so it took me a good half an hour to figure out myu password n my lost identity as a blogger...well the later took me 3 yrs i guess.. i dunno wat in the crappy world was i so buzy duin tht i dint post..well i dint stop writing thinking or writing poems but the blog part was conviniently deleted.. i am 19 now,pretty independent ,more mature than wat i was the last time i wrote .. buzy,happy n a design student..a product design student aspiring to be the best.. i am in pune..n i guess it happenend to me yest wen i saw no 23.. the jim carrey movie that got me goose bums as everything in my world happened to add up to another no..i wudnt wanna reveal wat no coz i mite just get into trouble.. hmm abt pune am a hostel resident since two yrs n this life 3hrs away 4m my hometown is something i love..i learn something new abt ppl, design n myself everyday.. as a product designer i quiet suck ..i wrk all day n at 11pm i crash like a child o my soft bed..into my world of thots poetry dreams n fantasy..thts whr i guess i du the writing.. no 23 (the muvi) is abt this writer n i realised how imp it was 4 me to write not in my books but to people hu can cmment criticise and appreciate.. am all charged up to write anything n everything 4m now.. amm so glad am back..lifes a full cirlce ..u was come back to wat u leave half way ..n writing can neva be left half way..

WHY

WHY........
ITS EASY WEN ALL SEEMS ABSURD TO LOOK UP AND ASK WHY...
YOUR FACE FUMES UP YOU FEEL YOUR SHOULDERS HEAVY WITH THE WEIGHT OF THE BLACK SKY.
YOU LOOK AROUND ON LOST TIMES YUO FEEL LIKE AN EXEPTION..
YOUR INQUISITIVE MIND RUNS AROUND ASKING YOU WHY WHY...
U SOUNDLY FIND THT REASON TO CRY

A CONFUSION THT HITS ALL DAY LONG YOU TRY UR BEST YET CLOSE ONES FIND U RONG...YOU THE LOOK UP N ASK WHY??

YOU LOOK AROUND AT POVERTY THROUGH WALKING STREETS
LOOK AT NEEDS AND ASK WHY...
WITHOUT U MAKIN AN EFFORT YOU BLAME THE COUNTRY ..ASKIN...WHY

THROUGH PAINTINGS AN NATURE YOU SEEM UR UNGRATEFULL FACE
YOU ASK URSELF AGAIN WHY

YOUR EYES DONT MEET BEYOND UR LOVERS FACE YOU FIND A 100 FLAWS
YOU LOOK UP, CURSE UR FATE AND ASK WHY??

CRITISIM BEIN R BEST FREND AND ANGER BIEN R SOUL MATE WE ASK N ASK THE ONE ABOVE WHY??
BUT I SAY>>>>WHY???
IS THERE AN UNSEEN MIRIOR U NEED
OR HAS MANKIND TURNED INTO THIS UNHAPPY CREED

TO THE OTHER SIDE YET ...
IN HAPPINES YOU SHOUT OUT WHY...ASKING BEYOND UR REACH WHY?
PRAYING FOR THE IMPOSIBLE WHY??
IT IS TOO HARD TO ACCEPT LIFE....THE WAY ITS ..WHY

AMONG ALL THE QUESTIONS I EVER KNOW THE ONE THAT ALWAYS CONQUERS EASILYIS WE'LL AMM ..WHY ??

fresh flowers a green lawn,and the smell of wet soil
the cozy dark clouds....the change in season...
arrival of the season of love...
an other word for life....smile....or feelings
a sense of ease ,pleasure,being together
went back to the first meaning i knew of love,
age 8..it was the symbol of a dove
roses ,cards ,sharing a drink or a choclate,..a smile ..
few days later i felt hed stink...tht was love at that time
age 12 where frends seemed to be everything...someone special...came up wid a ring
prom nights ,confusion of feelings..frends or are these true feelings???that was love
age 14..its goin out...sneaking through classes...watching movies...feeding popcorn
a little mistake.. another crush.. ur torn...ur 1st wound thru the word love
age 17..u lose out on the count..that one there or the one next 2 me...u hav the doubt...? that is love
age 20...the need for a compainion.....parties ,n fun..yet the hope to find 'the'one
age 24..ur dreaming about ur engagement ,marraige ur past relations...damn am not ready 4 a comitment yet i want one...that feels like being in love
age 27..its to planing long vacations..ending up in long conversations of lack of time...a meal together a lost sign..yet b4 the end of night...u r in love
age 34..its childern fun family..long thru eachothers eyes a lil mischief
age 47...job losses pain troubles...its back to the two of u again
age 55...at the turning point u catch ones hand say i love u ...4m every bit..
smiling all the way..ur the one i am glad i found.....that feels like love
age 64..its razing are grand children ...but not without u my love...u need no stick if its u aruond...i feel strong...my last days mite come ..but together we'll succum
age 68..its back to roses.cake,ring ,hey babe will u come on a date..
funny as it seems its a cycle
we go around thru love like a journey being are own disiple
living,feeling?dreaming?cribbing?life or a sense?is this love?

GOD WAT PPL SAY WEN FRUSTRATION STRIKES...

was i little upset today wondering why....i juss needed to be alone for a while u no ...but instead i was to attend guests studying the art of manners or perhaps fakness i donno...well i was even more irritated as boredom seemed to become my best friend since a week...college's over and i cant meet my friends coza guets n tuitions...a little dry for me.
god thinking...(n her frustration toks began)..so i did wat i thot would change my mood...had a bit of chocolate after which i was guilty so went for a jog...I sudeenly missed me being on my terrace so i did so...went up in darkness feeling the breeze looking around lisening to the voice of silence....the laughter of my memories with my friends ,thinking about the dilema of my life....
gods comment..(i must say once she starts thinking...its an ocean she dives into)
Beautiful i must say..i meet ppl resently in my life hu make me reflect my behavior ,hu made me think that theres more to life then fun,studies n family,its oneself ya,ones behavior..
god(basically GETTING ME A LITTLE BORED).
i was lookin around at moving cars buildings all 4om the top.looking at the stars that seemed less b4 but wen i looked carefully they were inumerous ya...i began to introspect ya...were we like the buildings imovable yet there or like the moving cars that keep changing spped n lights...or were we like the sky above...vast secretive silent or did all this juss reflect the types of personalities one comes across....some imovable ,some movin on ,some noisy some dark n secretive like the sky...clueless that i am ...i remembered a few articles about the country oneself ,expections,lonelinesss,pain,friendship..buzzing my brains...wat r we as just alone ???is it good or bad to b alone is a debate ya
i called a frend spoke to him n laughed but he had to hang up,then i called another pal she was out ,n i called 3 more,n i realised wen ur in need of sum1 to lisen to ur trash or give way to ur creativity n wild thots theres nothing but the wild air....i remeber my skool days my pranks,studies ,test ,ragin ,bunking,lord it was fun,one of my best memories ,i thot with moisten eyes,missed all that
god to himself(bas kuch bhi hua toh senti ho kay start thinking about skool,actually thats good atleast ur mind diverts from the fites at home or with friends..helps during mood swings which are apparently my fault ha...)
god wat hav i bcum. started thinking about life ,emotions ,n my ambitions alot,am changing becoming and more acceptable to changes wondering wether its just a phase or is life always unfare...may be not...i sat there on my terrace yet looking around trying to find a meaning to my life ,a reason to my bordom,a shiver down my spine,with a dash of lonliness and a smile,i looked up n sed got ur smart,mean irritating ,and u put me in the worst situations of life...but there are others hu need u more,,as far as am concerned i seem to love u,i promise this is a phase ,i suddenly remembered something ,god i asked for the best family,u gave me the worst,i asked for the best friend u gave me the most difficult one,i asked for the best lover u gave me the most difficult one...god u gave me not wat i asked for but all that i needed....
god-thanks thoda toh consider kiya..baccha why u take tension and praise me n then juss bore me with sayings i only come up with,)
began humming its my life n went down the stairs...wait a minute 4om a small fite to buildings to cars ,to life to god...bas blame it all on him...wat ppl r like i tell u ,frustration makes u go 4om antartica to kimbactoo ...lord save the world...ohh no not again..wonder wat god has to say...donno how r minds work .. well this shall pass to ...
gods last words-i have given all the same gift" mind,"i have been thrown at by my devilsh friend called destiny...we both work together n i guide u during a problem but wat u make of this journey called life is nearly u ,ur the mind ,ur the master,often ppl think am the one hu dus the good n bad ...but think hard if i was so then y wud i make life to entertain me with my creativity..no we r three of us that work ..u me n destiny...all have highs n lows its the way u take it gal...but am glad ur growing ...)

My come back 2 my lost self.....

wako that i am ..i just adore dancing..i start any and everywhere ya..its fun...with frends ,partying...when am happy..once someone asked me where do you get the energy n chilled out feeling from ya..i smiled and sed i donno...the next question was are u learning dance from a dance school..?..with a confused stare am like..."no dude"..
this impression stayed in my mind as i walked home...i really dint realize how xpressive i am ...where did it come from...i then remembered that abt 4 yrs back i had join classical dance.wich i left mid way..i had a sudden erge to go meet my teacher..i learnt that it was just a year that had gone by and i was no more dancing,was no more doin stage shows...killed me somewhere...i donno y?
the next morning i got ready ,like i wud before for dance class...the indian look and a funny feeling...
i went there and my teacher was overwhelmed seing me there...the place had changed so much...but the othentic smell the beats ,the taal ,her singing was yet there...my soul was yet there...my teacher told me..."tanvi y dont u join in..lets c where my teaching has gone..."to her astonishment n my surprise i remembered a piece that was choreographed by her long back...i went an hugged her...i was happy...my postures and dancing skills yet remained the same...my teacher was so glad...
The class went on 4 long ...as i took a break i looked at the kids and remebered days like they were b4..comming from school,my durga performance for which my frends teased me..they use to give me a dose of their crap always u no..and then appreciate me...there was a peice whr my body seemed like no bones at all u no ...it was that feeling of being on stage ..expressing without toking that drove me to itself..an yet does..i remembered d anxiety we had b4 shows,the fake head aches during class so that wed get a break and tasty dosas...godd...there was this girl i new off ..snobish and snooty shed show of her dancing sills n it wud kill me..looking at her my lost energy wud come out n i would give her a tough fite..was sexy fun...
i just get A PEACE OF MIND whenever i come here..i have joined many western dancing classs but my expressions,the way 2 imort feelings without speech(bcoz am always talking)and the real understanding comes here...i have learnt a lot here..grown here

....its beyond words ..beyond apreciation...i have a bond with my teacher like a friend and a motherly affection..shes cool and fun and has helped me bin there always..we can come up with are own tuesdays with morrie...lol...
ps:i love bein on stage dancing and singing is my passion ..so all those who know directors , music directors and artisits plz ..i exist...(actual motive of writing this article)...lol
Ppl who think am a tomboy an all that ...hears my secretive bit